It is with a tremendous sense of sadness that we acknowledge the passing of our great friend, Michael Pyryt. Not only was Michael a very distinguished scholar in the field of gifted education; he was a driving force in the awareness and development of gifted education in Alberta and beyond.
Michael grew up in Garfield, New Jersey. He attended Johns Hopkins University where he obtained both undergraduate and graduate degrees in psychology. His doctorate was achieved at the University of Kansas. Michael came to Calgary from West Virginia in 1989, teaching in the Division of Applied Psychology. He eventually assumed the directorship of the Centre for Gifted Education at the U of C in 2000.
Michael’s academic contributions are numerous. He has published extensively in the field of gifted education, contributing as an author, reviewer and editor to such publications as The Handbook for Gifted Education, Roeper Review, Exceptional Education Canada, Gifted Child Quarterly and many, many more local, national and international publications. Michael also presented at conventions around the world and helped to organize local events such as SAGE Conferences and Dabrowski symposia.
While Michael’s academic credentials were extremely impressive, I would like to say that it was his authenticity as a person that made him a truly unique and unforgettable man. Both personally and professionally, he acted from a highly developed sense of values. He was a teacher in the truest sense of the word: not only given to imparting knowledge, which he possessed in seemingly endless abundance, but also given to the kind of infectious enthusiasm that made one believe, on so many levels, that this was important work. Michael was a mentor and advisor whose wisdom was highly sought by countless individuals and organizations, because what he said was always well considered and in the best interests of the seeker.
For a very, very long time, it is going to be oddly discomforting to attend events where Michael’s ubiquitous presence was a constant and not see his happy, welcoming smile, his thoughtful shrugs or his inimitable fashion. For those of us on the train of gifted education, it will seem as though a powerful engine has been taken away and we are in danger of slowing to a stop. For Michael’s sake, we shall have to work just a little harder, with a greater sense of determination, to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Michael leaves behind many, many friends, admirers, and colleagues. Our sympathies go to his wife, Leta Gonzales-Pyryt, daughter, Tara, and her husband Chris, granddaughter, Brooke, the staff at the Centre for Gifted Education and to his good friend and long-time collaborator, Dr. Sal Mendaglio.
Hal Curties, President, GTEC
(taken from SAGE Words, Vol.7, No.2)
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Message for Michael
I Introduction
It is an honor and privilege to speak on behalf of Michael’s self-proclaimed extended family – those of us who have come to know and love this extraordinary man as mentor, advisor, colleague, boss, and most important, as trusted friend.
There has been such sorrow, shock, disbelief and loss in this past week as we each heard, in our individual ways that Michael had passed – no longer with us in the way we had come to know and cherish. “What a dark day for the gifted” – was the echoing message that reverberated throughout the world’s gifted community. And as Jenn Aldred, Michael’s former grad student and long time friend so poignantly said, “The grief washes over me in waves.”
I remember thinking, “Not Michael!” and then wondering, “Why Michael?” feeling numb and then lost – how would I manage without my touchstone - upon whom for almost 2 decades I had tested my ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams in my practice and research in gifted education? How would we, as a community, manage without Michael in our advocacy of best practice for our brightest bunnies? How would we manage without our friend?
In our grief, we turned to one another to make sense and through our conversations we remembered that nothing exists in isolation, community is everything, and we are part of a greater whole. We have laughed through the tears and cried through the laughter. “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
And so the healing process begins: the sadness of our loss for Michael’s physical presence diminishes as our remembrances give cause to the celebration of his amazing life and legacy of service. He has been a gatherer of people, ironic given his introverted and deeply private nature. One of his greatest gifts to us has been that of community. Michael understood Wheatley’s wisdom: “Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. We have to stop pretending that we are individuals who can go it alone.” He may have been well ahead of his time.
II Stories
It has been said the best legacies any one of us can leave are the little adventures and events that gave us laughter and left fond memories in the hearts of those who knew us. And there have been wonderful Michael stories over the years, which hopefully we will be able to share with one another in one way or another…
1. Linda Finlay’s story is a telling one. She said, “Michael was never one to talk about himself so I was surprised to learn that he rescued dogs that were old or ill. One day he showed up at the Centre with a bandaged hand. He said his dog had bitten him. This was the first time I learned that Michael was a dog lover and that he had taken in more than one dog to care for when others had given up on them. A few years ago, we were forced to make the decision to have our two dogs euthanized. For a minute, I thought of throwing the dogs over Michael's fence. I knew he would take care of them. Michael cared for all of us as he did the dogs. He never gave up on us.”
2. Jenn Aldred says, “The most indelible and unshakeable image I have of Michael was a rare and precious moment when he sat in my classroom of fourth and fifth grade students. “
Michael was vigilant about creating opportunities at the university for gifted children to come and experience high-level curriculum and learning – he was also a master at fleshing out the rigorous graduate studies “program requirements” with the interests and passions of his graduate students…and so, in his usual student-centered way, he had cleverly finagled a way for me to field test a curriculum unit I had written with a group of kids and receive course credit at the same glorious time. Michael came in to observe my class at the university one early Saturday morning.
He sat amongst the wide-eyed 7 and 8 year olds, his vest, tie and blazer adding a feel of Ivy League to our humble classroom.
I introduced Dr. Pyryt with a long litany of his many research contributions, prestigious university appointments and dazzling acronyms. I then asked if any of the kids had any questions for Michael before we got started.
One boy put up his hand.
I beamed with pride – after all, isn’t this why we love to teach these kids? Their precocious interest in scholarship…their uncanny ability to grasp and address things as an adult would… I simply KNEW my precious group of brilliant children would appreciate the significance of the esteemed Dr Pyryt’s presence.
“Yes”, I said, “what would you like to ask?”, bracing myself for a question concerning Michael’s stake in quantitative analysis – or perhaps an articulate query regarding his strong role as advocate and ambassador of the Center for Gifted Education…
“Umm…” the boy said, almost breathless with anticipation, “What I would like to know is…how did you first BECOME a Pirate?”
All the kids nodded and whispered with nervous eagerness.
I paused.
Michael paused and smiled and paused again.
Pushing up his sleeves, he said, “Well…” He half smiled, paused, and looked up at something invisible on the ceiling as I had seen him do so many times. He smiled. Paused… Paused again… I prepared myself for the matter-of-fact clarification of the spelling of his name.
“I could tell you”, he said, gazing over to the side, wrinkling his brow as though he were really pondering the matter. “But then I’d have to kill you.”
There he sat, the sleeves of his blazer pushed up, forearms placed on one of the tables arranged in a careful circle which he shared with three other children, all a quarter of his size. The kids fluttered in breathless adoration.
He availed himself completely and authentically in the world of these students. And they knew it. I saw in that moment that this was his real work – his magic.
3. Ann Greenwood, Michael’s trusted and valued “Right Hand Centered Woman” notes, “They say people come into our lives for a reason… and I was so blessed that Michael was in my life. He brought much to enrich our lives.”
He loved his coffee and I realize it was more than about just having a cup (which he did soooo often). One of my favorite “Michael” phrases that I will miss is – “I’m just going to have a coffee with Sal” and off they would go to solve the issues of the world in their own special way!
Michael always had time: to help, to listen, to support a cause or family in need, time to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
As well, he gave time. When my youngest was diagnosed with leukemia several years ago and I had only worked for Michael about a year I went in to try to explain what was going on, not knowing what to expect and before I could give him the details, he just smiled in his special way – and said, “Take all the time you need - family comes first.”
Michael was dedicated, honest, humble, generous, caring, and sincere in all he did. He was passionate about gifted and he shared that passion with all he met – he wanted to enrich the lives of gifted people and in sharing that with us all, I have realized even more so in the last few days, how he enriched the lives of all he knew.
4. Going to conferences with Michael and Sal always were great learning experiences. Attending NAGC in Charlotte in 2006 Lynn, Martha and I discovered how renowned and respected this indomitable duo truly are on the international stage. We also learned how heady it is to be with a couple of rock stars, as they guided us from one wine and cheese gathering to the next. Note to self: academics are not always stuffy!
After the conference and when our flight was almost home, we were re-routed to Billings, Montana, where we were stranded 4 – 5 hours on the tarmac, 1 – 2 hours getting rooms at the only hotel that was open (no staff included), and 2 – 3 hours to rest in the wee hours of the morning. And through those many hours, Michael was our shepherd - for Miraca, Lynn, Martha, and me. These are the times that permit a glimpse into the character of another.
5. At NAGC in Minneapolis this last November, Michael consented to go shopping at the largest mall in America with Martha and me and I have to tell you, he held his own, although he made it clear that he was on his own and would meet us later for lunch. When we re-connected in the middle of the hustle and bustle, he seemed interested when we showed him each of our many purchases and as a good sport in return pulled out the one item he had bought, an awesome new sweater!
And always the rich, complex conversations, whether in the mall, on the bus, the train, over lunch or dinner… When you asked Michael a question about anything – anything – he always nailed it with clarity, precision, breadth of knowledge and tremendous insight. He also had tons of advice about how to choose a good wine or spirit… J
He encouraged me to see and imagine from various perspectives, and in so doing, broadened my worldview. Michael was a catalyst and inspiration to my life’s purpose, as I know he was for many. Forever grateful…
In conversation was how many of us knew Michael best. Hal Curties notes there were no 2 minute conversations with Dr. Pyryt and Pat Petrie says, “As I think about Michael I realize how much I’ll miss our conversations – he was so generous with his time and his knowledge. And I shall miss his encouragement in all of our efforts on behalf of gifted children. I enjoyed his sense of humor and I respected the respect that he showed to others.
III Who Was Michael Pyryt?
From my frank perspective, Michael was one of the purest individuals I have known. As a friend and colleague said, “You know I could never get him to gossip!”
That he had a brilliant mind was clearly evident; that he led with empathy, intuition and compassionate heart was equally transparent. What a powerful force for good he has been!
He was a humanitarian who epitomized integrity and possessed great humility, a generosity of spirit, a wicked sense of humor and most effective hand gestures to underscore an important point!
He was a “way show-er” and “truth finder” – a moral compass – and always sought his true north. There was simply no way to take him off track. As Margaret Wheatley notes, “When someone speaks the truth, we all become hopeful.” And Michael consistently brought us sustained hopefulness.
Michael’s authenticity as a person and educator was relentlessly steadfast – and the representation of his essence. He held a high degree of unity in his thinking, emotions, and activity. He was highly conscious and his autonomously developed hierarchy of values was his core of “being, knowing, and acting.” I believe he was the truth, which speaks to his unfailing trustworthiness. He was always there when you most needed him.
And as mentioned, it has been “Family First” for Michael. We remember him as one proud grandpa who would whisk out the latest pictures of his beautiful granddaughter, Brooke, in 30 seconds flat, his face beaming, or lead us to the Brooke Gallery on the computer in his office! The importance of family was also clearly evident in his professional life: his extensive international family in the field and his amazingly gifted family at the Centre. Ann says, “We knew he loved his family dearly. He believed in family, and I think the ‘Centre’ was his second family. Over the past week we have realized his family is even bigger than any of us might have known.”
Among his recent extended family is the Westmount Charter School Community who valued all that Michael knew and gave. As Superintendent Merv Kurtz recently noted, “Michael was a kind, gentle soul. His great wisdom was demonstratively depicted with humility.”
We thank you, his “real” family for having shared Michael with us through all these years.
IV Conclusion
As we celebrate Michael’s life well lived, we honor his scholarly accomplishment and abundant success – a good thing. However, the other day I was struck by something I read by a long distance runner, who distinguished the difference between success and significance. He said, “When we cross a finish line, reach a goal, we feel successful. Success is a sense of personal achievement, a task well done.
But beyond that, and more important, we achieve a sense of significance. Significance is the knowledge that we have made a contribution to others or had an impact in somebody’s life. Significance carries us beyond ourselves. Success is soon forgotten; significance lasts forever. We are remembered because we’ve been significant, rather than successful.”
And therein lays the difference. Michael’s significance… What a wonderful testimonial of all that is good. Jenn recently said, “It gives us comfort to be part of the circle that joins us to Michael’s core and his wise, gentle truth. It really was an honor, wasn’t it?”
Yes, it was. Not one of us will be able to match Michael’s footprints or fill the formidable void he leaves. However, as the community he has gathered and trusted, we can embrace the challenge he has left us: we can join hands, roll up our sleeves, raise the ceiling, raise a toast for Michael, focus on the higher common good, and in the wisdom of Pooh, remember that “We are smarter than we think, stronger than we seem, and braver than we feel.” I can see Michael smiling. He approves – I know it.
In the words of Tagore, “Your voice, my friend, wanders in my heart, like the muffled sound of the sea among the listening pines.”
We love you, Michael; we honor the magnificence in you – always have, always will. God Bless.
Janneke Frank
January 18, 2008 at the viewing the evening before Michael’s funeral
I Introduction
It is an honor and privilege to speak on behalf of Michael’s self-proclaimed extended family – those of us who have come to know and love this extraordinary man as mentor, advisor, colleague, boss, and most important, as trusted friend.
There has been such sorrow, shock, disbelief and loss in this past week as we each heard, in our individual ways that Michael had passed – no longer with us in the way we had come to know and cherish. “What a dark day for the gifted” – was the echoing message that reverberated throughout the world’s gifted community. And as Jenn Aldred, Michael’s former grad student and long time friend so poignantly said, “The grief washes over me in waves.”
I remember thinking, “Not Michael!” and then wondering, “Why Michael?” feeling numb and then lost – how would I manage without my touchstone - upon whom for almost 2 decades I had tested my ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams in my practice and research in gifted education? How would we, as a community, manage without Michael in our advocacy of best practice for our brightest bunnies? How would we manage without our friend?
In our grief, we turned to one another to make sense and through our conversations we remembered that nothing exists in isolation, community is everything, and we are part of a greater whole. We have laughed through the tears and cried through the laughter. “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
And so the healing process begins: the sadness of our loss for Michael’s physical presence diminishes as our remembrances give cause to the celebration of his amazing life and legacy of service. He has been a gatherer of people, ironic given his introverted and deeply private nature. One of his greatest gifts to us has been that of community. Michael understood Wheatley’s wisdom: “Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. We have to stop pretending that we are individuals who can go it alone.” He may have been well ahead of his time.
II Stories
It has been said the best legacies any one of us can leave are the little adventures and events that gave us laughter and left fond memories in the hearts of those who knew us. And there have been wonderful Michael stories over the years, which hopefully we will be able to share with one another in one way or another…
1. Linda Finlay’s story is a telling one. She said, “Michael was never one to talk about himself so I was surprised to learn that he rescued dogs that were old or ill. One day he showed up at the Centre with a bandaged hand. He said his dog had bitten him. This was the first time I learned that Michael was a dog lover and that he had taken in more than one dog to care for when others had given up on them. A few years ago, we were forced to make the decision to have our two dogs euthanized. For a minute, I thought of throwing the dogs over Michael's fence. I knew he would take care of them. Michael cared for all of us as he did the dogs. He never gave up on us.”
2. Jenn Aldred says, “The most indelible and unshakeable image I have of Michael was a rare and precious moment when he sat in my classroom of fourth and fifth grade students. “
Michael was vigilant about creating opportunities at the university for gifted children to come and experience high-level curriculum and learning – he was also a master at fleshing out the rigorous graduate studies “program requirements” with the interests and passions of his graduate students…and so, in his usual student-centered way, he had cleverly finagled a way for me to field test a curriculum unit I had written with a group of kids and receive course credit at the same glorious time. Michael came in to observe my class at the university one early Saturday morning.
He sat amongst the wide-eyed 7 and 8 year olds, his vest, tie and blazer adding a feel of Ivy League to our humble classroom.
I introduced Dr. Pyryt with a long litany of his many research contributions, prestigious university appointments and dazzling acronyms. I then asked if any of the kids had any questions for Michael before we got started.
One boy put up his hand.
I beamed with pride – after all, isn’t this why we love to teach these kids? Their precocious interest in scholarship…their uncanny ability to grasp and address things as an adult would… I simply KNEW my precious group of brilliant children would appreciate the significance of the esteemed Dr Pyryt’s presence.
“Yes”, I said, “what would you like to ask?”, bracing myself for a question concerning Michael’s stake in quantitative analysis – or perhaps an articulate query regarding his strong role as advocate and ambassador of the Center for Gifted Education…
“Umm…” the boy said, almost breathless with anticipation, “What I would like to know is…how did you first BECOME a Pirate?”
All the kids nodded and whispered with nervous eagerness.
I paused.
Michael paused and smiled and paused again.
Pushing up his sleeves, he said, “Well…” He half smiled, paused, and looked up at something invisible on the ceiling as I had seen him do so many times. He smiled. Paused… Paused again… I prepared myself for the matter-of-fact clarification of the spelling of his name.
“I could tell you”, he said, gazing over to the side, wrinkling his brow as though he were really pondering the matter. “But then I’d have to kill you.”
There he sat, the sleeves of his blazer pushed up, forearms placed on one of the tables arranged in a careful circle which he shared with three other children, all a quarter of his size. The kids fluttered in breathless adoration.
He availed himself completely and authentically in the world of these students. And they knew it. I saw in that moment that this was his real work – his magic.
3. Ann Greenwood, Michael’s trusted and valued “Right Hand Centered Woman” notes, “They say people come into our lives for a reason… and I was so blessed that Michael was in my life. He brought much to enrich our lives.”
He loved his coffee and I realize it was more than about just having a cup (which he did soooo often). One of my favorite “Michael” phrases that I will miss is – “I’m just going to have a coffee with Sal” and off they would go to solve the issues of the world in their own special way!
Michael always had time: to help, to listen, to support a cause or family in need, time to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
As well, he gave time. When my youngest was diagnosed with leukemia several years ago and I had only worked for Michael about a year I went in to try to explain what was going on, not knowing what to expect and before I could give him the details, he just smiled in his special way – and said, “Take all the time you need - family comes first.”
Michael was dedicated, honest, humble, generous, caring, and sincere in all he did. He was passionate about gifted and he shared that passion with all he met – he wanted to enrich the lives of gifted people and in sharing that with us all, I have realized even more so in the last few days, how he enriched the lives of all he knew.
4. Going to conferences with Michael and Sal always were great learning experiences. Attending NAGC in Charlotte in 2006 Lynn, Martha and I discovered how renowned and respected this indomitable duo truly are on the international stage. We also learned how heady it is to be with a couple of rock stars, as they guided us from one wine and cheese gathering to the next. Note to self: academics are not always stuffy!
After the conference and when our flight was almost home, we were re-routed to Billings, Montana, where we were stranded 4 – 5 hours on the tarmac, 1 – 2 hours getting rooms at the only hotel that was open (no staff included), and 2 – 3 hours to rest in the wee hours of the morning. And through those many hours, Michael was our shepherd - for Miraca, Lynn, Martha, and me. These are the times that permit a glimpse into the character of another.
5. At NAGC in Minneapolis this last November, Michael consented to go shopping at the largest mall in America with Martha and me and I have to tell you, he held his own, although he made it clear that he was on his own and would meet us later for lunch. When we re-connected in the middle of the hustle and bustle, he seemed interested when we showed him each of our many purchases and as a good sport in return pulled out the one item he had bought, an awesome new sweater!
And always the rich, complex conversations, whether in the mall, on the bus, the train, over lunch or dinner… When you asked Michael a question about anything – anything – he always nailed it with clarity, precision, breadth of knowledge and tremendous insight. He also had tons of advice about how to choose a good wine or spirit… J
He encouraged me to see and imagine from various perspectives, and in so doing, broadened my worldview. Michael was a catalyst and inspiration to my life’s purpose, as I know he was for many. Forever grateful…
In conversation was how many of us knew Michael best. Hal Curties notes there were no 2 minute conversations with Dr. Pyryt and Pat Petrie says, “As I think about Michael I realize how much I’ll miss our conversations – he was so generous with his time and his knowledge. And I shall miss his encouragement in all of our efforts on behalf of gifted children. I enjoyed his sense of humor and I respected the respect that he showed to others.
III Who Was Michael Pyryt?
From my frank perspective, Michael was one of the purest individuals I have known. As a friend and colleague said, “You know I could never get him to gossip!”
That he had a brilliant mind was clearly evident; that he led with empathy, intuition and compassionate heart was equally transparent. What a powerful force for good he has been!
He was a humanitarian who epitomized integrity and possessed great humility, a generosity of spirit, a wicked sense of humor and most effective hand gestures to underscore an important point!
He was a “way show-er” and “truth finder” – a moral compass – and always sought his true north. There was simply no way to take him off track. As Margaret Wheatley notes, “When someone speaks the truth, we all become hopeful.” And Michael consistently brought us sustained hopefulness.
Michael’s authenticity as a person and educator was relentlessly steadfast – and the representation of his essence. He held a high degree of unity in his thinking, emotions, and activity. He was highly conscious and his autonomously developed hierarchy of values was his core of “being, knowing, and acting.” I believe he was the truth, which speaks to his unfailing trustworthiness. He was always there when you most needed him.
And as mentioned, it has been “Family First” for Michael. We remember him as one proud grandpa who would whisk out the latest pictures of his beautiful granddaughter, Brooke, in 30 seconds flat, his face beaming, or lead us to the Brooke Gallery on the computer in his office! The importance of family was also clearly evident in his professional life: his extensive international family in the field and his amazingly gifted family at the Centre. Ann says, “We knew he loved his family dearly. He believed in family, and I think the ‘Centre’ was his second family. Over the past week we have realized his family is even bigger than any of us might have known.”
Among his recent extended family is the Westmount Charter School Community who valued all that Michael knew and gave. As Superintendent Merv Kurtz recently noted, “Michael was a kind, gentle soul. His great wisdom was demonstratively depicted with humility.”
We thank you, his “real” family for having shared Michael with us through all these years.
IV Conclusion
As we celebrate Michael’s life well lived, we honor his scholarly accomplishment and abundant success – a good thing. However, the other day I was struck by something I read by a long distance runner, who distinguished the difference between success and significance. He said, “When we cross a finish line, reach a goal, we feel successful. Success is a sense of personal achievement, a task well done.
But beyond that, and more important, we achieve a sense of significance. Significance is the knowledge that we have made a contribution to others or had an impact in somebody’s life. Significance carries us beyond ourselves. Success is soon forgotten; significance lasts forever. We are remembered because we’ve been significant, rather than successful.”
And therein lays the difference. Michael’s significance… What a wonderful testimonial of all that is good. Jenn recently said, “It gives us comfort to be part of the circle that joins us to Michael’s core and his wise, gentle truth. It really was an honor, wasn’t it?”
Yes, it was. Not one of us will be able to match Michael’s footprints or fill the formidable void he leaves. However, as the community he has gathered and trusted, we can embrace the challenge he has left us: we can join hands, roll up our sleeves, raise the ceiling, raise a toast for Michael, focus on the higher common good, and in the wisdom of Pooh, remember that “We are smarter than we think, stronger than we seem, and braver than we feel.” I can see Michael smiling. He approves – I know it.
In the words of Tagore, “Your voice, my friend, wanders in my heart, like the muffled sound of the sea among the listening pines.”
We love you, Michael; we honor the magnificence in you – always have, always will. God Bless.
Janneke Frank
January 18, 2008 at the viewing the evening before Michael’s funeral
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